GRBDN: We Can't Be Stopped

This is gonna be the longest post in a while. If you took a pic and I made fun of you and you read this, I'm really sorry. It's all in good fun and now you have an internet legacy (kind of like Moshzilla). And you'll always know you're better than 99% of the Jager Girls that work these shows... and come on our bus.

OK let me kick this off. Tonight was Atlanta and the contest for the "Biggest GRBDN Fan". We had this sign up in the merch area to lure in some potential fans to get pics with.

If you don't know by now, this is GRBDN. Great dude, diet soda fan. Kids obviously have know idea who it is, but people sure acted like it. One girl even said she's seen the GRBDN shirts everywhere. People blow my mind.

The pictures came surprisingly easy. The girl on the right is the one who "saw the shirts around". Apparently she didn't pick one up to finish up covering the area her shirt missed.

This couple didn't know GRBDN, but were eager to show the world their dark love... and GRBDN love. There was some sort of rivet strip thing built into this girls shirt. I thought it was just a really goth tie at first.

Goth power lifting. Summer Olympics look out, we have a new champ. I want to see Magnus Ver Magnusson try something like this.

This girl was worried that her boobs were going to get touched. She had a lot of pins that talked about how little she liked people and how bad they smell. There was no hesitation in giving this human a hug though. It must be love.

I swear this girl looked like Susie from Curb Your Enthusiasm in person. I have to admit, I was kinda jealous.

Champ survived his day in the mud and these ladies could not be more enthused about it. Hail Satan, save horses.

For some reason this girl reminded me of Suzanne Somers' character in Step By Step. GRBDN thought she was a total MILF. I was just wondering what Frank Lambert would have to say about that.

Holy shit! It's one of the twins from Aiden and a young Samoth. Metal lives. Does anyone else get reminded of Ernest Scared Stupid when they see those two troll twins from Aiden in a magazine? No matter how much makeup you wear, you still used to keep miniature kids in a tree. Hopefully someone got that joke.

I have no clue where you buy outfits like this, but I need to get in on it. It's like a post-modern TRON or something. Her boyfriend and GRBDN totally approve. They were actually really nice. Girl if you're reading this: maybe we can go shopping together one day? Guy if you're reading this: even though I hate Superjoint Ritual I think we would have a great time playing Nintendo wii together. Hit me up.

The final dude in this lineup is the Mighty Fowler. This dude blew my mind tonight. I wish pictures could convey the smell of alcohol coming off this dude. He had a few amazing quotes. The best one being, "I think drum and bass is kind of like in Terminator after the robots have taken over. It's like, 'We can't be stopped, man. We're battery operated.'" Wow.

Fowler also doubles as some sort of pimp/ninja. Here is his brushing his shoulder off stealthily or something. I still don't get it. This dude should start working for Taco Ninja in Columbus. The deliver tacos dressed as ninjas. I highly recommend ordering from there if you get the chance.

And this picture basically sums him up for me. This dude loved telling us about raves and how his mom listens to Black Sabbath. He was way into "Luna Coil" and their myspace page. I def didn't ask this dude to take this many pictures. He just kept coming back and asking if he could take another picture. It's like he knew the joy he brought to my life. I want to go to a rave with him and T-1000 sometime.

He even signed the mailing list the best. Anarchy FLY... get fucking into it. Alabama represent! We miss you Fowler.

Now that I got that all out of the way, I have a couple more People You Don't Want To Be to cover.

DO NOT!!! I repeat DO NOT ever wear a cape to the show, no matter how well it matches your purple Superman shirt and leopard print pants. Holy fuck. Also did you really bring Pogeybait to the show with you?


These two dudes just went and got brand new Jager tattoos in time for the show. I think this is the exact opposite of getting an edge tattoo. It's also the exact opposite of cool.

I'm gonna return to my own personal living hell now. If you can imagine this times 60 shows you'll start to get the picture. It's awesome. At least Carolyn loves me.


No matter how much I complain, I love my life. Really. Now I just wonder how many GRBDN fans are outside of Atlanta. Only time will tell...